Freedom.
Such a big word. A beautiful idea.
Of course, we all want to be free — to choose freely, to love freely, to live freely.
But when I look around, in conversations, in my coaching work, or within myself, I realize something:
Many of us confuse freedom with consistency.
We believe we’re free when we stick to clear principles. When we know what’s right and what’s wrong. When we follow values, morals, and the rules we’ve learned.
And yes — principles can be helpful. They give us guidance in a world that often feels uncertain.
But here’s something I keep coming back to:
If you don’t have a real choice, you’re not free.
If you always act out of habit, out of moral duty, out of the idea of who you think you should be — eventually, you stop feeling alive.
Freedom means having a choice.
Freedom doesn’t mean you always have to be kind.
It doesn’t mean you always have to say no if you’ve learned to be a people pleaser.
Freedom means knowing, in every moment, that you have a choice.
Between yes and no.
Between stepping in and stepping back.
Between speaking your truth and remaining silent.
Between love and distance.
It means letting go of the idea that you have to stick to certain principles just because you once decided they were right for you.
It means checking in with yourself — what feels true for me, right here, right now?
Life happens in the in-between.
I’ve experienced this within myself many times.
For years, I was very good at being kind, understanding, patient.
I could always listen, always offer empathy, always keep the peace.
Until I noticed:
I was locking away a part of myself.
My anger. My clarity. My boundaries.
I was so attached to being the kind one, the good one, that I didn’t give myself permission to feel anything else.
And at some point, I realized:
If you cling to one side only, you stop feeling alive.
True aliveness happens when we allow both sides to exist within us.
When we make room for the tension, the choice, the discomfort — because that’s where life really moves.
One side alone makes you rigid.
Both sides together keep you in motion.
Where have you lost your choice?
Maybe you’ve noticed this too:
- Always being the strong one.
- Or always being the one who steps back.
- Always trying to please.
- Or always shutting people out.
Where have you become so attached to one side, one role, that you no longer see the other option?
Freedom doesn’t always feel easy.
It asks you to pause.
To notice.
To choose.
A gentle reflection for you
I’d love to invite you to sit with these two questions for a moment:
- Where in your life are you living more out of habit, duty, or fear of discomfort — instead of real choice?
- Where could you allow yourself to choose aliveness today, instead of staying safe?
You don’t have to change everything at once.
But perhaps it’s enough to remember that you always have a choice.
That you are not your rules.
That you are not your learned behavior.
That you are wonderfully, wildly human.
And life — it happens in the in-between.
If you’d like to share, I’d love to hear from you.
Send me a message:
Where in your life do you long for true choice again?
I’d be so happy to hear your story.
Freedom begins where you remember you can choose.
photo by tabea magura
