Maybe you know that beautiful, almost magical feeling when you fall in love — and suddenly the world seems brighter, lighter, and filled with meaning. It’s as if something long missing has finally returned, and for a moment, you feel whole. Complete.
And yet, sooner or later, a question quietly arises: Why doesn’t this feeling stay forever? Why does love sometimes shift into disappointment, pain, or emptiness?
Why We Search Outside of Ourselves — The Quest for the Missing Piece
The answer lives deep within you. Because in truth, you were never incomplete. Everything you need — the soft and the strong, the feminine and the masculine, the brave and the tender — already exists within you. But somewhere along the way, you left parts of yourself behind, pushed them aside, or forgot about them. And ever since, you’ve been searching outside for what’s always been waiting inside, longing to be seen again.
What Others Reflect Back to Us — What You Admire in Them, Lives Within You Too
Every person you meet who stirs something in you is holding up a mirror to a part of your own soul. Perhaps you admire someone’s courage, their warmth, or their clarity. But those same qualities are already within you. It’s just easier, sometimes, to recognize them in someone else.
When you fall in love, it’s not only with the other person — but with a part of yourself that you’ve yet to fully embrace. That’s why love can feel so overwhelming, so electric. It awakens something in you that’s always been there.
The Chance for Self-Discovery — From Pain to Your Own Inner Strength
And then, when the first shimmering illusions begin to fade and the other person no longer fulfills every unspoken wish, it can hurt. You think they’ve changed. But what you’re really seeing — perhaps for the first time — is who they truly are. And in their reflection, who you truly are.
And this is where a beautiful opportunity arises. Instead of clinging to expectations or dwelling in disappointment, you can begin to turn inward. To not only admire someone else’s bravery, but to rediscover your own. To be touched by their tenderness and remember the gentleness in your own heart. This is how we grow. And in doing so, our relationships take on a deeper, richer meaning.
The True Freedom in Love — Loving from Wholeness, Not Lack
Love then stops being a quiet trade-off of I’ll give you this if you give me that. It becomes a gift — something that flows freely from within you. You no longer need to seek wholeness in another. Because you realize you’ve always been whole. And from this fullness, you can truly love — openly, honestly, without fear.
As you start to uncover the hidden parts of yourself, you’ll begin to see the person beside you through softer, wiser eyes. You’ll sense their story, their hopes, and their fears. Compassion will grow. Understanding will deepen. And at the same time, you’ll stand more firmly in yourself, knowing what is yours to carry — and what is not.
A relationship then becomes a sacred space for growth. Not because the other person saves you, but because they remind you of the parts of yourself you’d forgotten. And you, in turn, offer them the same.
Conclusion — Returning to Yourself, Loving Freely
Perhaps you’ve believed until now that a relationship is good when your needs are met, when the other fills what feels missing. But love is more than that. It’s an invitation — to meet yourself. And the person beside you is a beautiful mirror for that journey.
When you’re willing to gather your projections, to turn inward with courage, you’ll discover that love doesn’t fade. It deepens. That closeness doesn’t suffocate — it sets you free. That true connection doesn’t confine, but makes space for both souls to expand.
There’s nothing you need to hold onto, nothing to force. Everything you seek is already within you. And every person you meet along the way is a gentle reminder of that. All it takes is the courage to look — and to remember: You are already whole. Right here. Right now.
Allow yourself to stop losing pieces of yourself in love. To stop expecting others to complete you — and instead, remember you’ve been complete all along. That’s where love can truly begin to grow: gently, honestly, and a little more with every passing day.
Learn to trust yourself. To welcome all that you are. And to see your relationships as a precious gift. Not because they’re perfect — but because they invite you to become the person you’ve always been. Loving. Whole. Free.
When was the last time a relationship taught you something about yourself?
I’d truly love to hear your thoughts. It means so much to share these moments together. Thank you for being here.
photo by tabea magura
